On 11th March 2020, I’m standing at the back of a regular Lunch and Learn in the office with Jo Fuller, AKA The Merry Menopause who’s sharing how people experience the perimenopause and menopause. As Jo goes through the list of what women can experience, my heart is in my throat and the tears start falling, proper hot tears, streaming down my face - in the office!

Throughout my career in the creative industry, showing any sign of vulnerability was a weakness, frowned upon and avoided at all costs. And here I am - someone who is not usually an overly emotional person - trying to stop my colleagues from seeing me cry.

Why? Because as Jo listed off ‘sense of hopelessness, overwhelm, anxiety, emotional, lack of confidence, brain fog, poor sleep, self loathing…..’, the penny dropped, and with a huge sense of relief, I had an explanation of what I was feeling. In a strange middle-aged version of Disney’s Inside Out, new emotions were knocking on the door and it seemed they were there to stay.

After a moment to compose myself my next meeting was with my two closest colleagues, CEO (Jim) and COO (Mark) who had also attended the same Lunch and Learn. In a state of weird happiness and relief, I confessed that I was experiencing these symptoms and not always at my best at work. They were sympathetic and supportive, and grateful that I’d spoken up rather than suffer in silence. Their understanding gave me the space to navigate my symptoms without the added pressure of pretending everything was fine.

Following this revelation I threw myself into researching more about the symptoms, followed the likes of Own your own Menopause,  Davina McCall, The Merry Menopause, and Davina McCall - and started the journey of understanding what’s going on, and what I can do about it.

Compared to some of my friends I am really lucky. I have a brilliant GP who listened to me and set me on a path of blood tests to understand what was going on. I decided to try HRT. The game changer for me was testosterone - the teenest amount made a huge difference. Deciding whether or not to start HRT is a deeply personal decision, but it truly has been my lifeline.

There are still bad days, but, for the most part, I feel like myself again (albeit a different version). And while being an open book doesn’t come particularly easily to me, I wanted to share my experiences this month in the hope that it helps someone else with their journey.

Having people around you who understand what you’re going through is key. I’m lucky I have some colleagues that I’m able to talk to and admit when I have those bad days. We share coping techniques, new products we’ve tried, funny stories of middle-of-the-night Insta shopping disasters and chat about drugs. Hormone therapy is the theme for this year’s World Menopause Day and I can see why. For peri and menopausal women, HRT is one of the most talked about topics. What are you taking? How much? For how long? How do you feel?!

Stress has always been a huge factor in how I experience my symptoms - the relationship between stress and hormones is tricky. It’s a chicken or egg situation. Do my hormone levels make it harder for me to manage stress, or does stress intensify my symptoms? The answer, I’ve found, is both. I always laugh when people say to avoid stress as if you would actively seek it out in the first place.

Sometimes, the pressure of performing at your best, having all the answers, the juggle of carer responsibilities, trying to be a loving and supportive partner and finding some time for ‘me’ while keeping the stress levels in check is quite frankly a joke. It’s often just not possible - I can understand why 23% of Perimenopausal/Menopausal women are considering quitting their jobs* due to their symptoms. An IPA survey states that only 6.25% of the workforce is made up of people aged 50 or older. If 23% of those leave, what happens to all those amazing women and their years of experience?

Back in 2021 - inspired by Melissa Roberts’ Menopause mandate - we launched our own policy at We Are Social. It’s there to support women whose symptoms are impacting their ability to do their job, and includes more flexibility around start times for those experiencing problems sleeping, or the ability to take time off without the fear of being judged. By having a policy we’re recognising a group of employees who often feel isolated and alone in dealing with their symptoms, and hopefully, we can retain these exceptionally talented and valued women in our agency and the industry.

They say there is a ‘day’ for everything these days but, for me, World Menopause Day is one of the most important. It’s a reminder that we need more open discussions about perimenopause and menopause and the different ways to cope with the symptoms and learn about the support available. With the conversation getting louder and people becoming more informed, the stigma around the menopause can finally begin to lift.

*UK workplace-healthcare provider SimplyHealth 2023 of more than 2,000 working women aged 40 to 60.