I should preface this with the fact that I know I'm one of the lucky ones. I accepted the role at The Liberty Guild having fronted up (at the pub) that I was midway through IVF. By the chance I rocked up for my first day, I could be pregnant.

Jon (Founder and CEO) answered, ‘and God willing you are’. And the rest is history. It took nine rounds and a pandemic, but tomorrow I celebrate three years of Cosmo in the world. It’s a rare tale of corporate kindness. Belief in me being valued far beyond my life stage, womb state and impending (expensive) maternity leave.

But with all this warmth and fairytale start of motherhood, I can still say I found it brutal. Even with the support of my company allowing me to have it all - it was overwhelming.

I was used to perfection. To being in control. No juggling skills required. Just me, myself and I, achieving what I could in an industry I loved. The cluster bomb of losing control and time to think overwhelmed me. Six months after donning my Mum badge, I was hankering to go back to work. To go back to something I had experience in. Something I was good at.

Yes, it meant I had to juggle. But the two halves of my life - home and work - gave me an edifying mental balance. Order plus chaos. Known plus the unknown. The light heartedness and the caustic self-doubt.

So, I chose to embrace this divide. Work hours I was ‘on’. Before and after those hours I was Mum. No juggling, no that’ll do. I learnt to be brutally efficient with my time. Compressing the same useful hours I used to spread into the twilight hours with a glass of wine on the sofa, laptop open and catching up.

And this militance actually made me feel I could achieve on both fronts. I could be devoted to both my loves. All whilst working from home four days a week and so being there for when Cosmo got chickenpox or used the potty for the first time. A brief cross of the divide that I know meant the world to Cosmo (and me)

I remember going to a mum and baby health check-up and bursting into tears about breast vs bottle and the desire to do both. The nurse looked at me warmly and said “happy mum means happy baby. Do whatever you think is best”. And it's true. If employers can ensure their caregivers are happy - the rest will follow. When we feel genuinely valued, we do our best work.  And the rest is history.

Mums, Dads, Caregivers - you can have it all. You just need the support from those around you to see you succeed and you won’t look back. Allow your people the flexibility, empathy and confidence to smash it. And they will.

Since becoming a parent, I have a respect I never had for those looking after others. I’m a better person for experiencing the brutal pressure of parenthood and will always go out of my way to ensure everyone I work with has the same sense of unwavering support and love I felt. And I know it will pay back a hundred times over. I am happier, more efficient and have a greater sense of balance now. It’s still hard. I still doubt myself on both fronts regularly - but I know that I'm achieving more now than I ever have.