There’s a thread on Twitter that captures it perfectly. The nonsense ad speak too many brands are talking. 

The thread pits a classic Porsche ad against a recent effort. Set over the image of German police car that happens to be a Porsche 911, the classic ad reads: In Germany there are no getaway cars. A brilliant description of the power of the 911. Whereas the modern ad reads: Dare forward. Sorry, what? Dare forward. Dare. Forward. Even the writer of that line doesn’t know what it means. It’s actually impressive how much nonsense you can conjure from just two words.

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘if you talked to people the way advertising talks to people they’d punch you in the face.’ So why do brands keep doing it? 

When we’re not being asked to Say hello to the future of gin we’re being told to Reimage what an air fryer can be. What’s next, an invitation to meet my car insurer in the metaverse? Actually, that wouldn’t be surprising.

Reality check: people aren’t buying what brands are selling because of what they’re saying. It’s no wonder a survey* found 75% of brands could disappear and people wouldn’t care or would easily find a replacement. 

If we talked like brands, we’d say things like ‘I’m excited to co-create with my laundry detergent’, ‘Can’t wait to take that bank’s customer journey’ and ‘I’ll experience a new amazing with this brand of bleach’. 

But no one says stuff like that. 

I know I don’t. And I’m pretty sure you don’t. Because we’re real people, living in the real world. Not some adland make believe. 

And out there in the real world, the rising cost of living is a deepening crisis. Every trip to the supermarket costs more than the week before. There are security tags on basic items like butter and cheese. Some politicians now describe cheese sandwiches as luxuries. In the last year up to one million people cancelled their broadband to cut costs, according to the charity Citizens Advice. While recent reports say about 700,000 UK households missed rent or mortgage payments. A situation likely to be made even worse by the 12th rise in interest rates.

With less in our pockets, we’re cutting our spending and shopping for cheaper alternatives. Talking nonsense ad speak like Dare forward and Say hello to… doesn’t just sound weird, it looks increasingly out of touch and ignorant. The sound of brands talking to themselves, not their customers. Another sign they’ve forgotten what people actually want and need.  

Adland needs to get out of its echo chamber. Shoreditch is not Stoke-on-Trent is not Sunderland is not St Austell. Outside of our bubble people are worried. Telling them to Experience a new remarkable or that with your brand they can look forward to Exploring reinvented frankly means sweet FA. I don’t care how data-driven your insights are.

Martin Boase, founder of the BMP, the agency with direct lineage to Adam&EveDDB, said: "We believe that if you're going to invite yourself into someone's living room for 30-seconds you have a duty not to bore them or insult them by shouting at them. On the other hand, if you can make them smile, or show them something interesting or enjoyable -- if you're a charming guest -- then they may like you a bit better, and then they may be a little more likely to buy your product."

While Boase was talking about TV ads, the same is true of every channel and platform, from social to radio and OOH. Success lies not in nonsense adspeak, but in being interesting.

Because guess what? Out there in the real world, whether it’s a TV show or a TikTok, people seek out – pay attention to – engage with – talk about – and even share – what interests them. And that’s usually what entertains them. You know what doesn’t interest or entertain people? Brands talking nonsense like Say hello to… 

If you don’t want your brand to become ignored, irrelevant and invisible, start by shunning the kind of nonsense adspeak that only further alienates you from the people you’re trying to reach. Get relevant, reliable and real. In a world of fakery fuelled by adspeak, being real isn’t just refreshing, it’s the most powerful thing you can do.

Our role as agencies is to help clients understand how and where they can have real impact. Helping them show up with the right campaign, in the right context, to the right people. Building brands that live and last in the real world. 

Next time someone recommends adspeak like Dare forward, call them out. Less than politely suggest they’re talking nonsense. Be the voice of the consumer whose response would be ‘What does that even mean?’

*Source: Havas Meaningful Brands Report 2021 (Survey of 395,000 consumers around the world).