Frazzled: if there was a word to describe the whirlwind of demands of the festive season this is it. Frazzled is also the name of a community rooted in the power of emotional openness. Founded by Ruby Wax in 2017, Frazzled is a safe space where people can open up and share their feelings or experiences of stress.

Frazzled runs sessions every day of the year. Every two weeks Wax hosts an online session for 100 people, a calm and open space to speak and listen. The lens of listening without offering solutions helps to foster an environment of openness without judgement. 

Wax explains: “We live in a world where we are constantly connected, yet isolated from each other.” She continues: “Everytime someone speaks from the heart you can see people are relieved.”

Frazzled also runs smaller groups and face-to-face discussions focused on helping people become less frazzled. 85% of people feel less frazzled after a single meeting, while 99% of people want to attend again. Statistics which underline that in an increasingly chaotic world people are seeking out space to both speak and be seen.

To mark World Mental Health Day this year Frazzled launched its first major advertising campaign and a brand refresh, created by Revolt.

To develop Frazzled’s positioning, Revolt took a close look at the statistics around mental health. According to Frazzled, 79% of us feel stressed at least one day a month, yet one in three Brits never make space in the day to speak about mental health.

The theme of World Mental Health Day this year was ‘Mental Health at Work’. So the campaign film ‘Small Talk’ parodied office water cooler moments. It shows two stressed colleagues not saying what they are truly thinking, instead the actors Will Hislop and Michelle de Swarte speak generic descriptions of dialogue to parody the emptiness of small talk.

The descriptions such as ‘Disinterested question about work?’ and ‘Fake laugh!’ underline just how surface-level water cooler conversation can be. The film was produced by Revolt and directed by Ed Bye, whose credits include Red Dwarf, Ab Fab and The Vicar of Dibley. The spot ends with the energetic Ruby Wax whizzing in on a wheelie chair, saying: “Cut the small talk for real talk. Come to Frazzled and you can really let your feelings out.”

The power of humour

Letting it all out is at the core of the Frazzled proposition. Wax believes that it is shared humanity which forges genuine connection in an environment where it is all too easy to skate over the surface of how we really feel. Envy of that ‘great life you aren’t living’ on social media, bleeds into that honest conversation that people aren’t having in real life.

As a comedian, Wax is clear that comedy is a vehicle to create the space for these difficult conversations.

“The advertising industry might be a bit slow on this, but humour is where people really open up and what they turn to in tough times,” she explains, adding: “There is freedom in laughter, there is no freedom in whining. Make me laugh and then we can really talk.”

It is a sentiment echoed by Matt Roach, Creative Director at Revolt, who says: “Comedy is a great way to make big subjects feel less scary. He continues: “We saw an opportunity with Frazzled to really lean on humour because what we are talking about is the everyday stressors that people struggle to talk about. Comedy is a great way to get people talking and get people’s guard down.”

The campaign gained significant traction online. “You have to really come from the heart of the issue, we are not laughing at stress, we are laughing with the audience. The intention is clear,” adds Roach.

Authenticity is one of the most over-utilised buzzwords in marketing, but nonetheless it is the authenticity and honesty of the creative endeavour which shines through. While Wax is best known for her role as an actress and comedian, her commitment to mental health is anything but fleeting. Since studying neuroscience at Oxford University in 2013, she has taken part in mental health campaigns with Comic Relief and delivered successful TEDTalks on mental illness. Her generosity in sharing her own struggles with depression has created the space for others to recognise that you don’t need to perpetuate the myth that everything is always ‘fine’.

A storm of stress

Wax, who has an OBE for her services to mental health, first brought Frazzled to life in in-person events in Marks and Spencer's cafes. Before moving online when Covid hit and placed life on pause. While bringing people together to talk about stress might on the surface feel like a pursuit that could plunge the founder into a bleak outlook for the future of humanity, the opposite is true. For Wax, the biggest takeaway has been the compassion that people hold for each other, even when they are complete strangers. A compassion people don’t always show themselves.

Frazzled is now looking for more partners to work with to create more online and offline spaces to allow people the space to think and share. “We have run some amazing partnerships and we are looking for more partners to work with,” says Wax.

“Being frazzled in the workplace has been dangerously normalised,” adds Wax, who is offering Frazzled as an antidote to workplace stress. “Frazzled isn’t about mental illness, but it is about acknowledging the storm of stress that is gathering,” she continues.

It is a storm that has not just been normalised, but at times been presented as aspirational in social media’s hyper-masculine hustle culture. A culture in which having responsibilities outside of work, or wanting a life outside of striving to achieve, is seen as little but a sign of weakness. Staff wellbeing is not a KPI.

Revolt’s Roach notes that: “Being seen as really busy is a badge of honour, but we need to make the space to talk about stress.”

This nuance is particularly poignant in the creative industry which has long been in thrall to productivity culture. An entrepreneurial ethos of the ‘5am club’ which contributes to a growing sense that time isn’t finite and stress does not exist. When you layer on the ‘compare and despair’ lens of social media, it is clear that the storm clouds of stress are not a figment of Wax’s imagination.

Wax explains: “Addressing stress is about having respect for yourself and treating yourself as a human being. We can’t all compete with Bezos.”

A human safety net

Wax believes that many people are teetering on the edge. Normalising stress and the constant cortisol spikes which contribute to obesity. Wax warns that being frazzled in itself means you can become stressed about being stressed. She explains: “The daily pressure is what has driven us to this culture that is making us ill.” Her message to those facing the feelings of being frazzled is clear: “You are not your fault, the weather conditions of our lives are frazzled. You are affected by being compared every day with people across the globe,” she explains. 

Hayley Shepherd, Brand Consultant and Project Lead at Frazzled, is passionate about the positive impact the charity is having. She explains: “The truth is 4 in 4 of us are frazzled and 1 in 4 of us have a mental health illness. It is very urgent to address this.” She describes Frazzled’s free service as a ‘human safety net.’ She continues: “When you share how you really feel it has such a positive impact.”

When it comes to stress honesty really is the best policy. “If you get humans together with honesty and you speak honestly you can see that the whole notion of the stiff upper lip belongs in the fifties,” adds Wax.

All I want for Christmas is to be a little less frazzled

Yet while culturally we might be more comfortable with talking about mental health, the question remains: have we collectively normalised being frazzled? Just as meme culture describes adulthood as 52 weeks of the year declaring; ‘after this week things will calm down’, the chances are that your own stress cycle might extend beyond the length of this sentence.

As Revolt’s Roach explains: “Just because something is normal doesn’t make it ok.” He points to the power of the workplace conversation that Wax so successfully sparked that it is ‘ok not to be ok’.

“The phrase has taken on a life of its own, but there is still more to do,” he adds. Particularly at a time of year when Q4 pressures combine with the omnipresent spectre of a perfect Christmas. Frazzled’s Shepherd shares that it is important for the brand to run a session on Christmas Day. Noting that those who can’t spend the day with their families find this time of year particularly stressful.

For Wax, Revolt's campaign has successfully opened the door to a new era for the next iteration of Frazzled. She has a vision where people can run their own Frazzled sessions, giving people the space, tools and permissions to be honest about how they really feel.

The power of laughter

A problem shared is a problem halved might seem like a cliche for a bygone age. Yet Shepherd shares the fundamental truth that opening up sets us free. “One of the biggest things I have learned is that people feel this huge relief and feel valued when they are heard,” she says.

The irony is in an age of constant connection people cannot hear themselves or forge meaningful connections above the noise. As Revolt’s Roach says: “Even though our networks are so much bigger because of social, people don't want to feel they are ruining their few real friendships with how they really feel, Frazzled is like having a friend you can confide in without the pressure of that relationship.”

For Wax, the honest Frazzled truth is that a growing number of people are stressed about being stressed. “You are sabotaging yourself with your own stories,” she adds.

At a time when backlash culture is both gaining momentum and stripping individuals of their humanity, Wax is clear that human connection is vital, She believes there is a genuine yearning to go back to that real and honest connection. She adds: “Once you open your mouth and don’t pretend to be fine then you find your people.”

At a time of year when the to-do lists can so easily make you forget who you want to be, both have clear cut advice for those feeling the festive Frazzle. Wax advocates a free session on Frazzled, while Roach recommends a comedy show. “Laughter is so good for you, you get that genuine sense of connection,” he explains.

A connection which is the creative lightning rod of the Frazzled campaign. Comedy which allows you to turn a mirror on yourself, without feeling judged by the brand holding the mirror.

“A lot of people in advertising do want to make a difference. But to do that you may have to make different work that may not be loved universally.” shares Roach.

He continues: “Ruby understands this because she's a comedian and in comedy you have to be brave. Creativity is a lot like comedy because when you say something in a way that hasn't been said before, that's when it's brilliant and can make a genuine difference.”

Managing stress in the workplace is arguably the biggest leadership challenge of our age. The danger is leaders are too busy to address the urgency of this collective overwhelm.

If you or someone you know are struggling with stress or anxiety, visit frazzled.uk for a free chat.