It’s not about what we think but here’s what we think, writes Amy Kean in a decidedly serious thinkpiece.
Business is in the midst of a new era, an era of change. In this era, bland is the new normal, and only the bland will succeed. And the key to being bland, is disruption.
Our industry has been on the cusp of a sudden, unprecedented exponential revolution for an unquantifiable amount of years. Not one living or deceased human, animal or mineral can keep up with the pace of change.
The pace of change has been so fast, it’s faster even than 5G, which is also a revolution, but an additional one to the one we’re currently in. 5G’s the next one. In fact, probably the only living person that has any chance of keeping up with the pace of the revolution and the pace of 5G, is us. Us and our raspberry pi.
Welcome to the new, old, brave new world. Where the only way to be truly bland, is to disrupt and be disrupted. But what is disruption? It’s simple. Disruption is the means by which those to whom it may concern will be where the ever-while by whence it came. Which means that consumers are more empowered than ever.
Disruption is the assimilation of nuance, and if personalisation is the answer, then bland is the question.
Amy Kean
Bland is the new oil and oil is the old data. Disruption is the glue. But what’s driving it? Let me tell you about some innovations we have absolutely nothing to do with: AI, VR, AR, drones, bitcoin. Our proprietary methodology and artificial approach combines every technology ever invented to form a kind of bland machine. The machine is quite hard to describe. It looks, well it kind of looks like, did you ever go on the Vampire ride at Chessington? Well it kind of looks like that, but it’s faster, and more seamless.
And by employing this machine that definitely exists, it seems entirely feasible that one day, a hologram will be writing this thought-leadership piece in the afterlife, because an entire soul will have been downloaded into Alexa for an agile, real-time, self-fulfilling Skill.
Disruption is the assimilation of nuance, and if personalisation is the answer, then bland is the question. Not everybody is brave enough to be bland – we are – but one thing is for certain: when the going gets bland, the bland…disrupt.
To download our free e-book on disruption text BLAND to B-L-A-N-D to register your interest and speak to one of our team. Calls may be charged at £1 per minute and we fully intend to share your data with at least seven irrelevant parties.
Totally Mundane™
Bland isn’t a registered trademark and the contents of this article aren’t protected due to similarities with every other bland in the world.
Amy Kean is Director of Brand and Innovation at the change consultancy &us, working with local and international brands to overhaul their consumer products, strategies and culture. On the side, Amy is a university lecturer, columnist and Co-Founder of DICE, a self-regulatory framework that promotes diversity and inclusion at conferences and events across every industry. She’s also author of the number one bestselling feminist fairy tale The Little Girl Who Gave Zero F*cks and her second book, House of Weeds, is out in May 2020 with Fly on the Wall Press.
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